Saturday, June 25, 2011

Phone Messages at a Psych Ward!!!



  • ·         If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

  • ·         If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

  • ·         If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

  • ·         If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

  • ·         If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

  • ·         If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

  • ·         If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.

  • ·         If menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry.You won't be crazy forever.
  • ·         If you are bipolar,please leave a msg after the beep or before the beep or after the beep.Wait for the beep

  • ·         If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

  • ·         If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696. 

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