Sunday, March 15, 2015

A New Life : Pressing the "Reset" Button

Like all girls in their early twenties, one is filled with enthusiasm about their future and also about achieving all the dreams that one virtually lived throughout her childhood and teen. Unfortunately not always does one get a chance to go on a voyage of their own. I'd been married very early in my life, as my mom laid on her death bed, she made sure I was settled and married to a guy who would in her absence take care of me. I couldn't go against her as tears rolled down her eyes. Even though I wasn't really into marrying so early in my life, I agreed to her and took this event in a positive note.

With all the function and festivities of the typical marriage over, I was settling into my new home with a person I barely knew and a family that was going to be with me for the rest of my life. I thought to myself, 'well since it is happening, why not make these people my own and work towards a happy future for me and my husband'. I made sure I keep everyone happy, I made them the center of my universe and did stuff that would keep the family close together. But fate had something different planned for me.

As days passed, a harsh reality knocked at my door. Every night after getting drunk with his friends in the local pub, my husband would get in the room and beat me on small issues. I kept quite for a week thinking he will realize it once he sees me cry, but it was all a waste. His true nature had taken over him. I thought my in laws would support me in this situation, but to my surprise I realized that they were the ones who were adding fuel to the fire each day. My mother-in-law would tell my husband false stories about how I treated them badly and he would lose it. I felt hopeless. I didn't have any place to go. And in all of this, I got pregnant.

I thought God has given me this blessing in disguise. The child will probably make my husband come closer to me and make him understand the truth. A year passed, the bruises and pain of his blows all vanished when I held my baby girl's hand the first time. I saw the younger me in my girl. How I wished everything went back to normal, that my daughter's face would melt my husband's heart, stop his drinking habits. But as a dog's tail can never be straightened, he never changed. The story kept repeating itself.

I had to do something, I couldn't raise my girl in such an environment and each passing day the torture was getting beyond control. One day I decided that enough was enough. Even though I had no one to fall back too, I couldn't take this oppression any longer. I packed my bags and left that house once and for all. It wasn't an easy decision, I didn't know how I would feed my daughter, where I will find a safe place for her to sleep at night or how I will shape the future of my girl.

I sold out all my jewelry and took a small flat on rent. The next thing I did was apply for a clerk in banks. Luckily my B.Comm degree saved me and I landed up a job quite sooner than I thought. From there on I've come a long way today where my daughter is finishing her engineering from a top college in India. God always showed me the path but it took a lot of courage to press the 'Reset' button in life by leaving my in laws. Had I not done that, I don't even know if I would've been able to write this story of mine.

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Saturday, March 14, 2015

Look up Stories: The story of admits

I always had the dream of pursuing Master's right after graduation. I took up CAT, XAT and all the other exams without even thinking whether the courses where I was thinking of getting in are even the ones I wanted to pursue. Sheep mentality had crawled in my head.

I gave my 100% thinking I shall bell the CAT and get into one of the most reputed IIMs but life had something different planned in for me. Although my marks in the entrance exams led me to the Personal interview rounds of these colleges, but I couldn't clear those round and hence wasn't given admission to the prestigious colleges.

It made me feel even worse when one of my friends secured the IIM C admit. I felt I was of no use and I almost went into depression because of for the last 1 year of my engineering, I only had dreamed and envisioned myself pursuing my MBA right after graduation. I couldn't stand the thought of working and waiting. Since early in my career I always achieved what I wanted and this was the first time life showed me that not everything is in your hands. I felt emotions of anger, rage, pain and sadness. It took me a lot of time to rethink my career and what I wanted to do next in my life. It took a lot of efforts of my parents and friends to tell and convince me that I could do something else and that this wasn't the end of the world for me. But I was obsessed with it and my competitive spirit inside me wasn't ready to accept defeat.

But eventually I progressed from that situation and started working at a firm. My field of work is in analytics and as I worked for my firm I realized that my real passion lied in learning more about analytics, researching on topics that will change the way the world behaved 50 years from now. With this new found passion I started applying to the US colleges majoring in Analytics, After an hard and overwhelming 5 months of admission process I finally got admit from my dream college Carnegie Mellon University.

This moment has made me fill with optimism after almost a year of no hope and sadness. I realized that the MBA didn't work out for a reason, even if I had secured an admit from those top MBA colleges, I would've never found my true interest. This made me feel that no matter what happens in life it's always for the good. All you need to do is pour in your best efforts all the time and then sit back and watch as life unfolds each mystery in front of you.

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Friday, June 27, 2014

Fail, all over again...

Never felt this way before,
So low, so down
It doesn't feel good anymore,
Living this life without a sound.

What has happened?
Lost hope have I?
Or will to struggle in this process,
I lose myself and die.

Hope isn't on my side anymore,
For lost confidence, I have,
Never Mind the sparkling sun rays and dews,
For I see darkness inside.

Caged in these thoughts I think,
What is it that the future holds?
Disappointment and failures,
Worries and rejects, I'm told.

What one does when one is lost?
When the world outside your headphone,
Seems to be alien,
For you are torn apart, and away from the world.

I know I need to get back,
For life has kicked the underbelly,
But strength eludes me,
And I fail again, all over again...

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

New blog! New theme!

It has been quite some time since I wrote for my blog and the reason isn't that I'm not anymore interested in running this blog but that I've been busy! Like very very busy!!!

More over I have started another themed blog. It showcases my passion for blogging about the world of Tech! I write about anything and everything in the world of tech from phone reviews to almost everything in the world of technology

Please check my new blog at and leave your comments below as to how my blog is and how I canimprove my blog for my readers!